The 'Story Book' is dedicated to all the men and women who served in the Air Force with the FB-111A and later, F-111G. If you have some stories you would like to see in the Storybook, e-mail the webmaster.

"Getting up to speed " "NEW"

I was a Crew Chief on an FB111A stationed at Pease AFB when the FB111A's were first assigned to the 509 BW. We went to training for the 111's at Plattsburg ABF and then Carswell AFB in Texas for on hands. After training we returned to Pease AFB and waited for the FB111A' s to arrive. We were straight out after they arrived getting up to combat readiness. The FB111's were of the latest technology and sometimes if there were equipment failures, we had to pull the plane into the hanger and wait for replacement parts. This happened to my plane 68-271. While my plane was in the hanger waiting for a piece of the navigation system to arrive, other parts were cannibalized out of my plane to keep others in flight status. It took me about 2-3 weeks to get her all put back together and ready for flight. My plane was towed out of the hanger and my preflight was completed. I met the flight crew for the walk-around and was looking forward to launching my plane after this long period of down time. The Flight Crew walked off a little bit and were having a discussion, after which the pilot came to me and said "Sgt. I'm sorry to tell you this but we are not going to accept you plane." I asked why and was told that the reason was because there was to much pigeon shit on my plane and they feared it would affect the aerodynamic contour of the plane. I told them this happens all the time when a plane is in the hanger for a good period of time and my plane wasn't due for corrosion control for another week, but it didn't matter. I waved the maintenance truck over and called Base Op's to tell them they would have to scratch 271, as I was telling them the reason, the Deputy Base Commander popped into the discussion and asked me for our location. He then told me to tell the flight crew to stand by and wait for him. When he arrived, he took the flight crew for a walk around my plane, they came back and the pilot then told me that they had changed their mind and decided to take my plane up. I launched my plane and they completed the flight without any problems! (J.L.)

"Flight controls are your friend "

It was a dark and stormy night, no seriously, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. No, actually it was a lovely sunny day at Pease and I was to fly a normal training mission with a guest Navigator whose name escapes me. I was a new guy (FNG) in the 111 assigned to the 393 BMS, you know, nuke head the tiger. When we got to the flight line to preflight the aardvark I discovered that it was one of the ones with the "old" flight control system. Something about just breathing on the stick disengaged all the magic. Ok so I'll watch out for clumsy knees bumping the stick. All seemed fine until I did the flight control check, the control surfaces did the correct little dance but the stick didn't move at all(just like the simulator). I requested maintenance folks to explain me why this was so. A very senior fellow with more stripes than a dozen zebras assured me that all was fine and I was a dumb shit pilot. We fired up the old bird and headed for take off. Take off seemed normal(takeoff trim set itself correctly). As we got a few feet in the air I yanked up the gear(which as I recall releases the t/o trim setting) and the plane started to level off at about 50 feet. I eased back on the stick and poked a little nose up trim in and discovered that neither had any effect and that we were sinking back to the runway. By now I had the stick back as far as it would go, which wasn't very far because it had a great deal of resistance. Since I figured we pancake in and then eject I just held on until I remembered that the standby vertical trim switch ran the same motor as the t/o trim so I popped open the safety cover and commanded nose up. Damned if it didn't start to climb. The Nav dove into the emmergency procedures check list and found nothing that really applied except maybe the galled hydraulic control valve thing, which says that you should land right now before it does something really unfortunate. I agreed with the land right now part but first we had to have a "Hotel Conference" where the people in the airplane have to convince someone at a desk that we know what we are doing. I made a huge visual pattern while the DO and his favorite stan eval guy scratched their butts in the command post. I referred them to the WARNING on page E98 and said I planned to land in about 3 minutes. They agreed and I did a nice landing using the stick for role and a toggle switch for pitch. It was getting to the point where the fire trucks would just head out when I taxied out. This was about my 10 in flight emergency in 15 flights. After parking the FB and waiting around for the zebra striped NCO and his gang to tear into the plane we discovered that the pitch feel spring was installed backwards. They assured me that this was not easy to do and must have taken a gorilla and a 10 pound hammer to get it in there. With the spring backwards the stick would only compress the spring and not move the pitch controller at all. Once again my Nav walked away from the plane mumbling about never flying again. I'm sure this had nothing to do with my cursing and pounding the instrument panel the entire very short flight. (A.P.)

"Running dog"

I was a tower controller at Plattsburgh in the mid to late 70’s. One afternoon I had an FB-111 cleared for a touch and go to 17. As the 111 approached short final I performed one last visual scan of the runway, and I noticed a large dog trotting down the runway centerline about mid field. Normal procedure at that point called for sending the aircraft around to left side of the runway. I decided to bend the rules in the interest of teaching the dog that strolling down the centerline at PAFB wasn’t a good idea, and told the FB pilot “touch and go clearance cancelled, you are cleared for low approach only, DOG (spoken emphasis on the word dog) on runway acknowledge”. He replied “roger, cleared low approach only, copy the dog”. The 111 leveled off at about 10 feet AGL, retracted his gear, and flew the length of the runway at no higher than about 10 feet AGL. The low approach over the dog had the intended effect – I never saw a dog run that fast, and it didn’t stop running for easily a mile as it escaped to the west side of the field. I never saw that K-9 trespasser sgain. (P.L.)

"Low on fuel in a snowstorm"

It was standard procedure to return from the Kentucky Oil Burner Route (later changed to Olive Branch to please enviro types) at night, in bad weather with only 7.5K of gas. This was sufficient to comply with regs, ie, miss once at Pease, divert instantly to Plattsburgh and land with fumes. Being a new guy, I wasn't smart enough to realize that rules made at a desk in an air conditioned building were not subject to the same considerations as actually being up in the air in bad weather. SAC, in it's usual need to make a regulation to deal with any possible problems had instilled a new rule that you could not commence your penetration to low altitude and approach phase until the supervisor of flying had reviewed the weather and your fuel state. In this case the SOF was a Tanker Toad, accustomed to arriving at the high fix with about 6 hours of fuel. He instructed me to hold, since Pease was nearly down to min's for approach (a huge unforcasted Northeaster snow storm had suddenly materialized). As I was bouncing around in the clouds running out of gas I finally convinced the SOF/DO that I had better haul ass to PBG if they wanted to be able to reuse the airframe (wx at PBG 1000 light snow). As I contacted the PBG command post for the latest weather, I was reminded of how Admiral Saltinstall had dithered at Castine and nearly lost the entire US Navy in the War of 1812, when I was told that PBG was now indef 1/4mi heavy snow and blowing snow. Ok, go to Pease which is still 200 and 1/2 snow blowing snow, barometer dropping, wind picking up and swing around to the south. It's now a dark and stormy night, the low fuel light is on and they are holding me while they swing the PAR around to land to the South. There's this new guy on the PAR and the wind is changing rapidly and increasing to 30-40 kt gusts from the East and South East. The Fuel gauges were so low and we were bouncing around so that it was hard to determine how much I really had left. I figured I get one shot at it and then zoom and boom and hope the airframe didn't hit Jack Harris's house. I was listening on the command post freq also, just for laughs, and heard the wing commander heading out on the airfield. As I approached what I hoped was the runway, the PAR guy is giving 5 to 10 degree corrections (a really bad sign) so I asked the Nav to just shout out and point if he saw the rabbit lights. When he saw them (about 100 feet AGL), (no I didn't go around at min's} I peeked up and he was pointing about 15 or 20 degrees to our right. I locked on to the lights, slammed both engines in burner and did a pair of 60 or more degree banked turns to align us with the runway. The stall warning and stick shaker were a little distracting but I figured at our weight it would fly just fine. The landing was not pretty but I had not practiced pulling it out of burner in the flare. I would give anything to see the look on the Bosses face when I popped out of the snow and fog in a steep left turn in full burner. My knees wobbled for a while after that one. Thereafter, I never got back to Pease with less than 10k of fuel. PS: I think that was the Nav's last flight. My other story is about launching with failure of the vertical part of the flight control system. I think that Nav quit also. (A.P.)

"A damn good paint"

In advance of the deployment for the Tiger Meet in 1978, we were told in no uncertain terms that if we wanted to 'decorate' the airplane for the meet, we'd best be prepared to return it to it's former GI state immediately upon return. At this point, one (un-named) Navigator suggested that water based paint was really easy to remove. We then dispatched a runner to get some of Sears best Tiger Orange and Alert Shack black. Most thought the paint would strip off on the trip over. It did not! Nor did it strip off on the way back to Pease. Following the return of the aircraft it took a bunch of aviators almost all night to strip off the "tiger paint". Sears makes a damn good product! (E.M.)

Interesting story about the painting of the Tiger Meet aircraft but my recollection (having done both the painting and the stripping with Jack Pledger) was that we used Kmart exterior latex (might have been Sears &endash; but being cost conscious, I'm pretty sure it was Kmart) and it took two days to get it off.  We tried everything to dissolve or soften it for quicker scrapping and only Toluene helped.  We had to use respirator-type masks, which succeeded in stopping about half of the fumes.  It might be safe to describe another boring alert tour when the Hound Dog mysteriously developed a Tiger Tail on the eve of Paul Mathews move down to NAF HQ.  There are a few accomplices that Jack and I conspired with to make sure no one would be around to see the deed between certain hours, but they haven't given permission to be tattled on, yet.  But, many thanks to an unnamed Security Police Officer/Shift Commander for conducting a training exercise on the other side of the base!

And then there is the story of how Jack convinced Charlie Searock that he and I could easily get a 2-ton granite boulder into the bar to mount the bells on.  I have lots more interesting stories but this doesn't appear to be an X-rated site.  Anybody remember the "dog fighting" or Chicken Dance at the October Fest at Pease in 1979, or was it 80.  Memory is the second thing to go.. (B.K.)

I was an Aircraft Maintenance Officer at KPBG from April 1973 to November 1975. One "funny" incident took place during the October (Israeli) War in 1973! I was the only officer on the flight line when notice to generate (for real) came into CP. So we generated!. As FMS supervisor, I was out looking for -60 power units to support the generation. It was about 2200 the second night; 69-6509 was parked on 17C with a -60 hooked up. I asked Job Control if the aircraft was generated! Roger that. So I got out of my truck with a flashing light looking for the red rope (knowing not to cross it!). But I was also looking for the guard, and he was not to be seen, either. I got all the way to the -60, checked both fuel tanks (full) and was almost back to the truck when I heard "Halt or I'll shoot!" Looking over my shoulder, I saw the guard climbing out of the light-all, pulling on his M-16, trying to get it out of the unit as well. I called Job Control again, told them the power cart was good, and to please get the Security OIC out to 17C since I was about to be jacked up. So, on my face, on the concrete spread-eagled, with a kid (who's voice was cracking) telling me to just shut up. He handcuffs me and starts blowing his whistle just as another FB next to us starts some power-on (engine running) checks. So I'm laying on the ground, the kid's blowing his brains out with the whistle, it's blacker than the inside of a cow anyway, and no one can hear anything for a full ten minutes! Finally, the MX and Security OIC show up, we tell our stories, the kid is relieved on the spot (being in a light-all is a safety violation--carbon monoxide poisoning possibility, he'd laso left his post, and the red rope had blown and wrapped itself around the aircraft's landing gear), no one has a handcuff key, so I'm loaded into the back of a pickup truck and hauled to CSC to get unlocked.....It wasn't funny at the time, however! (C.M.)

Back in about 1975, Lt. Col. Don Nims was the 393rd Bomb Squadron Commander. Col. Nims had the sometimes infuriating habit of showing up to fly wearing a wheel (garrison) hat. Col. Nims background was B-52s and while there was plenty of room for a hat in that aircraft, I flew BUFs for several years and Col. Nims was the only person I ever saw wearing a wheel hat. In the FB-111 there was really no convenient place to stow a wheel hat and it would usually take a fair bit of time for Col. Nims to find a place to put his hat. At that time we had a number of certifiable characters on 393rd crews. Chief among them was a crew consisting of AC Captain Russ Laurier his trusty "Nose Gunner" 1/Lt Doug Kohlepp. Russ had personally witnessed Col. Nims antics with his hat and decided to have a little fun. One Thursday Russ and Doug showed up to go on alert wearing wheel hats. All weekend they marched around the "Hurry House" in lock step with their wheel hats and looking for their commander. But Nims chose this weekend not to visit the Alert Facility. On Monday, in desperation, they signed out and drove over to the squadron. On arrival they smartly marched down the hall toward the 393rd Commander's office. As they passed, Col. Nims looked up, saw the hats, and said, "Laurier, taxi in here". Russ marched into his commanders office, rendered the required salute and stood at attention. Col. Nims asked, "Laurier, what are you and Kohlepp doing wearing wheel hats on alert"? Russ responded, "Something my IP told me in Pilot Training sir". "And what was that, Laurier" asked Nims. "Sir, he said that only assholes and bomber pilots wear wheel hats with a flight suit and I want the world to know that I'm a REEEEEL BOMBER PILOT". (E.M.)

FB-111A 68-0275, or as we liked to refer to it, "Arnold", had a mind of its own. As most jets went , it was pretty good flyer. Not the greatest bombing jet ever known (that honor, in my opinion, went to 69-6510), but still a good flying "airliner". But don't ever try to put 0275 on alert. Arnold repeatedly gave us the bird and refused. Well, one day we had had all we could stand with Arnold and resolved to all that was allowed that the SOB was going to do its stint on alert. As soon as Wayne Mims (NCOIC of Alert Maintenance) found out, he immediately called me and "begging for forgiveness for any and all offenses", asked that we not do this. As I say we were resolved. The story as i got it from Chief Patterson (OMS Supt) is that he went out to the ramp and looking Arnold straight in the nose (Pitot tube) told him (Arnold) to cut the crap 'cuz he was going the pad come hell or high water. Well, Arnold went to alert without a peep and strangely enough was never a problem again. Don't know if the success of our accomplishment had anything to do with the chief and his association with chicken bones or the strength of our resolve. But the name stuck and 68-0275 has been "Arnold" (by those who know) ever since. (C.M.)

I was in Staneval at the time and this flight was the last one for an IG inspection. #239 was the last flyable FB on the base and we were at the end of the stream. The wing commander at the time (Col. C.Searock) said if we got the aircraft airborne, to do a flyby over the runway to give the maintenance troops a show. These guys had been busting their butts to get every flyable aircraft in the air! We got it airborne and came around for a low pass with the wings full aft. The maintenance vans were on the runway to signify a clean ramp and since nothing was said about a minimum altitude, I decided to make the pass "up close and personal" at 500+knots! The maintenance troops loved it! (B.P.) View the photo taken by Gail Dietrich.

On October 10, 1978, John Wilson and I were doing Bomb Comp practice with aircraft #282. When returning to PAFB, we were told to meet up with one of the base helicopters over Valcour Island as there was a Time/Life photographer doing a series on the FB-111A. We worked out an arrangement where the helicopter would be over the middle of the island at about 1,500' and we would make passes over the trees with wings full aft and light the burners at the south end of the island. We were really light-weight and even though Valcour is only ablout 1.5 miles long, it was out of burner, speedbrakes, bank and yank to keep from busting the mach next to downtown Plattsburgh at the north end of the run! (B.P.) View the photo.

The following took place at Plattsburgh AFB during a summer holiday weekend in 1977 or 1978. The weather was good but for some reason, morale was down and the Alert Facility seemed more like a morgue than a collection of accomplished air and maintenance crews. One of the tanker guys and the FB-111 senior ranking officer (SRO) on alert, quite aware of the low morale, put their heads together and decided to organize some 'Fun For The Alert Force'. Together, they orchestrated what was to be called, The 'Thunder Trucks Demonstration'. Essentially, it was a mock of the USAF Thunderbird Aerial Demo Performance using KC-135 and FB-111 Alert Trucks in the role of aerospace vehicle.....and, a great deal of imagination. It turned out to be quite a performance because everybody, officer and enlisted, had a part to play. It began with a briefing preparation in which various aircrew members played the role of the key 380th Bomb Wing staff. During the initial briefing, the various suggested roles were listed and virtually everyone volunteered to fill a certain part. Several hours later, they all formed up in the alert briefing room to practice the various parts and discuss the 'Truck Formations.' It started with a pep talk from the (acting) wing commander, followed by a similar talk from the (acting) DO....."OK you guys, you are the best of the best so go out there and knock 'em dead....but remember, SAFETY IS PARAMOUNT!!!" By this time, everyone seemed to get the idea of what was to be done and new ideas began to form. Almost everyone wanted a role to play, so new roles were created. After rehearsing, rewriting and replaying, everybody came back the next day for the final pre-brief. The guy that played the Chaplain gave a prayer before each alert sortie's aircrews 'raced to the alert trucks for the demo'. The assigned DO then put up a slide show showing the sequence of events and planform view of the 'Thunder Trucks Demo...'. So much effort, coordination and fun was put into this event, they did not want to let it go completely unnoticed by the outside world. It would have been like canceling the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl! So, time was allowed for everyone to call their wives or lovers and invite them come to the Alert Facility Area (outside the gates) to watch. (To put some people at ease, it was confirmed that there was nothing in existing USAF or 380th Regulations precluding the 'Thunder Trucks Demonstration'. In fact, at all times the entire alert force was in an increased state of readiness because the entire force was at the alert facility preparing the event).

Essentially, this is (in part) how the 'Thunder Trucks Demonstration' occurred: At the 12:00 noon Alert Klaxon Check, the horn blew and over the loudspeaker came 'The Thunder Trucks Narrator': "Ladies and Gentleman, (AF Hymn in the background) we are pleased to have you here today to witness the world famous United States Air Force Thunder Trucks!!". That is how it started. All aircrews raced to their trucks and each truck had a large red, white and blue number posted on the doors and the front of the truck. Sortie 01 started engines (truck engines) as the loudspeaker continued to ring from the narrator. The SRO and his navigator were in the first truck which had a big sign on both sides and the front saying, CINC Truck. They started driving around the alert facility and with each pass, another decorated alert truck would join up. The Tanker guys did the same thing, only going the opposite direction around the building until all trucks had joined up. One of the AMS Maintenance crew chiefs had wired a speaker in the grill of CINC Truck so that it played, "Off We Go Into The Wild Blue Yonder"....and other military pomp as they 'trucked up and down the Alert Ramp doing close formation truck work.... even did a "Missing Truck Formation"... again, all to the music and words of the narrator. It was so well planned and rehearsed that it was executed in perfection. After the demo had been complete, all ended up 'peeling off' in their alert trucks in front of their assigned sortie aircraft, accomplished their preflight, called the command post, "Code 1 Alert" and then joined back up for the prebriefed 'Taxiback Demo'. ( One of the tanker officer's (not on alert) video taped the entire event and gave it to the FB-111 SRO for his keeping). During this event, all "assigned tasks" of being on nuclear alert, were accomplished properly....and everyone had fun carrying out what, often times, became a rather depressing task. Back at the alert facility a post briefing/lessons learned session formed up in the main briefing room, marked by two hours of uproarious laughter. In the end, this event completely changed the morale of all aircrew and maintenance crews on alert over the remaining tour...............from 'Very Low' to 'Very High!' And, the wives and invited viewers loved the performance. The SRO, however, spent the next few days preparing his defense argument and sweating the phone call from the DO and Wing Commander. (D.I.)

"Underground Fire"

One day, all the Pease alert crews were sent to their aircraft because some guy who had been welding a manhole cover had inadvertently set the toxic waste that was in the drains under the flight line on fire. Apparently, the fire was moving from one manhole to the next, and as it reached each new one, the huge steel manhole cover would be blown off, flying several feet in the air. The firemen and trucks were scrambling around trying to figure out how to stop the migration of the fire.

While sitting in one of the alert aircraft, listening to the show on the radio, one pilot happened to look back and low behind its aircraft to notice that there was a huge steel manhole cover under the tail of his FB. Of course, this was an alert aircraft with a variety of interesting explosives under the wings and in the weapons bay, as well as about 48,000 pounds of JP-4. The crew got on the radio and got clearance to move the aircraft well out of harms way. (E.P.)

"Awesome"

"I remember the feeling of awesome power when they used to do AB runs on the trim pad at Plattsburgh, parking spot 20F, during the winter.. One time, at night, in the freezing cold, they had an FB cranking in zone 5, stood right next to the engine, you feel your guts shaking like a well-stirred Martini, you don't feel the cold because that Afterburner is warming the night, pitch dark out, and that "warm" glow coming from the aft end of that bomber...There are plenty who have seen it, the AF came out with an FB poster, nice shot of a crew chief "parking" an FB, jet is back lit with the Adirondacks in the background. In reality, the jet is tied down to the trim pad, 20F, stabs are drooped, and he's in front of the jet signaling the crew to stop. NOT! Nice picture though!

Second "awesomeness" was after the 380 BW passed an ORI, they had a jet take off, then all of maintenance and at I'm sure more, jumped in the trucks and drove down the middle of the runway.. Off in the distance you see an FB, 72degree wingsweep, coming at ya. Can't hear a thing coming from it.. He's not even 50' (at least it seemed like that) off the deck, screams directly overhead and disappears into the clouds.. You didn't hear him until after he passed.. That's where the name WHISPERING DEATH came from, the Vietnamese never heard it coming until it was gone.. That was too cool! Another time, if I am correct it was the in 1984, the year we (380th) won the FAIRCHILD TROPHY, the jet we sent down to the symposium at Barksdale came back.. Did a low, fast approach, pointed skyward and did a barrel roll (aileron roll,whatever!) halfway down the runway twice and came in for a landing.. That was cool! We never saw that before, at least over the base, am sure it took HHQ approval, or the approval from the Wing CC, to perform that show.." (M.K.)

"Loose FDR"

"For those familiar with the Flight Data Recorder (FDR), or "Service Life Monitoring Program" (SLMP), there were a few jets of each F-111 model produced, where the system was installed, and used to track airframe life, measuring I think 28 different parameters of flight. (not used as todays "black box" is, to help after a jet crashes) In the FB, it was loaded on a bomb rack, in the weapons bay of the jet. (Other models usually had it loaded under panel 1201). Anyway, one day Bill Smith and I loaded the FDR in the weapons bay. I was the 3 level, he was the 5 level. In other words, I was in upgrade training and "didn't know what I was doing", whereas he was the experienced guy and knew what he was doing. We uploaded, did our little ops check, and did the forms. We loaded these things all the time. That can get you in trouble. Later that afternoon, I got a call. "The jet landed, and when the crew shut down and opened the weapons bay, the FDR was hanging by its two connectors".. Oh hell! Bill and I reported to our shop chief and a small entourage of Quality Control reps. It was obvious we forgot to put the safety pin in! Yeah, we fessed up that we must have forgot to install the pin, but when Bill was questioned, he said "Mike signed off the forms, ask him".. Thanks a hell of alot Bill! Well, an investigation into the bomb rack revealed the rack was at fault, wouldn't lock down correctly. Show us off the hook, with only a scolding for now putting the safety pin in. No aircraft damage, crew didn't notice it banging around in flight. That's was good! A few years later at RAF Upper Heyford, I was still working with Bill. He was killed in a motorcycle accident on May 1st, 1986. What a tragedy. The Air Force lost one hell of a troop that day." (M.K.)

"Torching at 50 feet"

During the early 1970s, SAC's SIOP added a new twist to complicate the Soviet targeting problem by placing some of its FB-111As from Pease AFB, New Hampshire and Plattsburgh AFB, New York, at Kincheloe, Rickenbacker, Grissom and K.I.Sawyer AFB. Initially, six aircraft were placed on satellite alert, then this number was reduced to three. While the aircraft remained, aircrews and maintenance personnel were rotated through for TDY on a weekly basis. At K.I. Sawyer, there were B-52s and KC-135s assigned to the 410th Bombardment Wing. In addition, the 87th Fighter Interceptor Squadron, equipped with Convair F-106s, was stationed at the base. Each had its own alert facilities. For the FB-111As SAC built an alert facility, including six alert hangars. This SAC program was terminated in late 1974 or 1975. Normal configuration for alert at K.I. was four bags and a pair of SRAM in the bomb bay. Aircraft were ferried in this configuration with inert warheads installed. On the last day of the alert commitment at K.I., Major Ed happened to run across the Wing Commander in the Club. The C/O asked who would be taking the last bird out. Ed responded that he was going to do that since he was 'Senior Thing' that week and was asked if they could do some sort of departure show (without being at all specific). This was an F-106 base and even with minimum fuel and a clean wing, there was no way an FB-111 could do much of anyhting to impress a 106 driver (other than nuke his base!). The "Zippo" maneuver came to mind and even if most folks had done that at some point at high altitude, few (if any) had done so at 50 feet! Major Ed and his navigator, Captain Bob thought this would be a really spiffy idea.

Ed and Bob took off under VFR and asked for a low pass at high speed. Tower approved. Flew out a fair distance over the lake and lined up with the runway. With an airspeed at about 425 KIAS, Ed poked the nose down to arrive at the threshold at about 50 feet and told Bob to dump. It was late afternoon and late in the year. It got really bright in the cockpit and the tower said something like "Bububububnub". At the departure end, the crew secured from dump and Ed pulled the aircraft into a climbing left turn and damn near had a heart attack. There was nothing in the Dash-One to tell an unwary aviator that dumping at this altitude will lay the fire down on the ground. So there! They had 10,000+ feet of brightly burning runway behind them. At that point, Ed asked Bob if they had enough fuel for Cuba! While they were both considering their imminent demise of their respective carreers, the 'Wing King' called on 311.0 and said "Great show guys! Come back again soon". The crew then went RTB to KPSM flying very conservatively. (E.M.)

"AMS trophy case, part 1"

My tour with FB 111s was most interesting. It started with a Lt. Col. Richard Strome...on April 77. Two things happened when I arrived in the unit . He said "so your my new Admin.Supervisor"...and handed me a packet of papers.... and said "Take a look at these papers and tell me what you would do if you were me.:" And he walked out of the orderly room to another part of Bldg. 113 (509 AMS) I turned around and looked at the people waiting for my reaction.....I said, "Good morning , sir, Sergeant Harrington reporting in." And the office laughed, and things got lighter....I was handed a cup of good coffee, and a chair and a desk to look over the packet of papers...after a few minutes I realized it was a report on a two striper that had tried some wacky tobacy and got caught. Well, I read the entire report and his personnel record was also included. Well, when the commander returned from his morning "tour" / briefing of the maintenance shops...he asked me my opinion...well, I suggested Art 15, lose 1 stripe 100 dollar fine and keep him in the service... What I did not know at the time was the Commander had written down his decision and it was exactly what I had suggested....and due to the "Mash" series..he started to call me "Radar" and for some reason it stuck....what he did not tell me either was the airman statement and other input from supervisors asked for retention in service. He stayed and progressed...And then the commander handed me a set of TSgt stripes and set of orders. It seems I was promoted while between assignments and this whole exercise was to see if I was worth it. I guess I was, because just about two years later, I put on MSgt, and timing allowed me to accept the FSgt position in late 79. (G.H.)

"Aircraft 247 and "Tiger Meet 78"

The crews thought up the idea of painting the tail of 247 in the tiger strip pattern and the DM gave approval on the condition that the participants do the painting and agree to restore the aircraft to it's original condition on their return. The crews assisted by some of the maintenance contingent set to painting. They reasoned that latex paint would be easy to remove and elected to use this product. If I recall correctly the paint was obtained from Sears!.

Many thought it would just peel off at flight speeds and were pleasantly surprised to land in Europe with the paint 100% intact. A couple of days after their return to PSM the aircraft was due to go on alert and that tiger tail simply wouldn't do. The crews spent most of the night before the scheduled upload removing paint with steel wool, some rather ineffective chemicals and a good deal of cursing and swearing!

Lesson learned: Latex paint is damn hard to remove from an aircraft! (E.M.)

"Incentive Flight-101"

I flew a bunch of these incentive flights in the mid-late 70s and as I recall, the first one of them was flown by the late Major James "Red" Cecil in 1974.

The established procedure was for the IP and the incentive rider to meet at the simulator on the day prior to the flight and go through a simulator flight. This was necessary as it really isn't possible for someone to just ride in the airplane. There are some controls and switches that can only be reached from either the right or left seats. During this indoctrination it was common to feel the rider out as to what he would like to see and then tailor the approximate 30-4o minute flight to meet these desires as much as possible. Red's guy wanted to see the airplane burning and turning.

Perhaps the best analogy to a fighter ride (for the uninitiated) is to consider going into the hospital for surgery. Most folks being wheeled into the operating room are a bit uncomfortable with all of the procedures involved while the medical folks are quite comfortable in this environment. After all, this is their office. Similarly, the FB-111 cockpit was Red's office and he was quite comfortable there. It didn't occur to him that the Crew Chief now occupying the right seat might not share his delight in pulling Gs and engaging in rapid rolls. The result was that Red's guy barfed all over himself. Pulling back into the chocks the aircraft was met by the Wing King, DM and Crew Chief's wife. Following this embarrassment, Red and I spent a bit of time working out a general routine that demonstrated much of the aircraft's performance envelope without subjecting a person to very high G forces or rapid rolling maneuvers. I don't think we had another case of airsickness on our watch. (E.M.)

'The Tiger's suicide"

Early in 1976 (I cannot recall the exact date), I showed up early for work one morning and happened to look in the briefing room and discovered our Tiger missing from the plexiglass cage where it always resided. On the floor were a set of paw prints that led out the other door and across the hallway to a latrine. I followed the prints into a toilet stall where they ended and I discovered a suicide note taped to the toilet bowl that said something like it can't take it anymore with the 393rd. It was obvious that the personnel of our rival squadron, the 715th B.S. which had no mascot, had kidnapped the Tiger. A large article appeared in the 'The Seacoast Flyer' , the base newspaper, about the Tiger's suicide.

The crafty members of the 715th of course denied any knowledge of the Tiger's disappearance and claimed that it was truly a suicide by a very unhappy Tiger. I sat down with our Operations officer and the flight commanders of the squadron to map out a strategy of how we were to react and to get back the Tiger as soon as possible. It was our consensus to ignore the subject entirely figuring that our seeming disinterest would drive the kidnappers crazy. We took the tack that the Tiger was a mess anyhow (which it was) and the squadron personnel really were glad to be rid of it anyhow. This was a bold-face lie but we felt we had to proceed this way and deny the culprits with the satisfaction of taking advantage of our grief. We were right. Pretty soon everyone lost interest in the loss of the Tiger. No pressure was put on me by the DO or the Wing Commander or higher headquarters to get back the Tiger so the whole thing just disintegrated. Now we had the personnel of the 715th wondering what they were going to do with a moth-eaten Tiger sitting in one of their members basement. You can just hear the wife of the kidnapper asking when were they going to get rid of that damned thing down there.

As luck would have it, they were given the opportunity of saving face by returning the Tiger to the 393rd on the occasion of a farewell party, given for me, at the Pease Officer's Club on my reassignment to Korea. Bald-faced 715th personnel, who had always stuck to the suicide idea, now brought the Tiger to my farewell party and presented it to me. I imagine that they were really relieved at getting rid of it. In presenting the Tiger they tacitly were admitting that the suicide story was concocted by them. We, on the other hand, had proof that there was no suicide and that the Tiger really loved his role as our mascot. I was really relieved to see that the Tiger is still the mascot and stationed at Whiteman. May he always rule. (D.N.)

"The first female Crew Chief"

Well . . . I was on alert along with the first female Crew Chief (I think the first), Airman Marsha Carver during her first tour of alert. As a matter of fact, I believe she was the first female (of either the officer or enlisted persuasion) to stand alert at Pease.

There had been considerable discussion of how we would handle the issue of living in such close proximity with women, and avoid the sexual encounters that could have destroyed unit cohesiveness. The whole thing was handled in a very low key way by the DO, Col. Robert Voelker. There was a brief announcement that there would be a female Crew Chief on this tour and that a sign had been placed on one of the latrines that would allow it to rotate from male to female usage. Life on alert went on as usual and over time, more and more women joined the Alert Force. Incidentally, I used to love to fly Marsha's aircraft because it was one of the best maintained airplanes in the fleet.

Airman Carver was an approximately 20 year old (and rather attractive) blond. She was small, even for a woman, and probably weighed 110 pounds soaking wet. One of the tasks of all Crew Chiefs was the positioning of ground power carts. The Dash 60 power cart used by the FB weighed almost as much as a small car. The cart had an electric drive that could be used to make it move around much like a power driven lawn mower, but most of the drives were inoperative because they weren't maintained. Airman Carver quickly learned how to repair these drives as she simply didn't have the mass to horse them around the ramp. It seemed that each time she would get one of the drives working, the power cart would be reassigned to some other (read male) Crew Chiefs.

One day after she had fixed a half dozen drives only to have the cart reassigned she was stopped on the ramp by the DM who asked her how things were going. She read him the riot act about the reassignment of the carts she had repaired. I think she never had another cart she had repaired reassigned. (E.M.)

"Another gem from the 509th AMS trophy case."

Hi Folks....some of you might remember such things a CAFI, ORI, and the MSET....well in 78/79 time frame when Col. Honesty ran the 509th AMS....it was the time for CAFI...commanders' annual facilities inspection. Things were painted, cleaned and if the grass did not grow the right color, then some one stripers were sent out there with green paint (fertilizer) to make the grass look green for the 8th AF commander.

It was just after CAFI was over and Col. Honesty was in Bldg. 113 on a swing shift and saw the halls in a sad state of affairs...dust, dirt, and some trash on the floors...so he was bemoaning the fact to me that some of our people don't care and we got to do something..... Well, he decided to give a three day pass to any buck Sgt. on down that brought a piece of paper to me or him that had the words...."The finder of this item is awarded a three day pass". So every day he or I would take a piece of paper as we left the building for the day and deposit it somewhere and wait for the winner....two days went by and nothing happened....so Col. Honesty came into the building again on mid shift and as he went down one of the halls towards ECM there is this airman, picking up paper balls and throwing them away on the floor again saying to himself "no that's not it, no thetas not it", in a vain effort to find the 3 day pass note.... you 509th folks just have to visualize this comedy....if you were there you remember it. Well, it was back to the drawing board again. (G.H.)

"Snowballs"

I was reminded of this story by Troy Cecil, son of the late Major James H. "Red" Cecil, then an Instructor Pilot in the 393rd Bomb Squadron. Red and I and a whole bunch of other guys were on satellite alert at K.I. Sawyer AFB, MI in the winter time. Red was the Senior Aircraft Commander which effectively made him Commander of the FB-111 alert force. The regulations were such that an aircraft that was not able to get both engines running in response to an alert message, prescribing a moving exercise, would not taxi, but remain in the parking spot. With the temperature at about -25 the klaxon sounded and we all ran to our airplanes. When Red got to his, the port engine started okay, but he was unable to get rotation on the starboard engine. Not to be left behind Red taxied anyway. Following each alert exercise the Wing Commander always held a mass critique. The critique was important as Sawyer had FB-111A, B-52H and KC-135A aircraft on alert in different locations. Their differing performance and operational factors provided many complications to what would otherwise have been a relatively simple procedure.

With tongue firmly planted in his cheek and looking right at Red, the Wing CO commented that he understood that the FB was able to accomplish things other aviators thought were magic, but he was truly amazed that the airplane could retain snow in the tailpipe of a running engine! (E.M.)

"Start and taxi"

We found this hilarious at the time, but you might not think so today. At Pease and Plattsburgh during an alert force engine start the crew chiefs would stand on a yellow square outside of the shelter to the pilot's left and face the aircraft making eye contact with the pilot. This act told the pilot that the aircraft was clear for taxi and that the crew chief was prepared to marshall the pilot out into the stream of taxing aircraft. The crew chief knew that his bird would taxi if the anti-collision beacon came on..not all engine starts meant a taxi. Well, the checklist was rewritten so the beacon was always on. In a crew meeting a bright young crew chief got up and asked the Wing Commander (Col Sam Swart.who later became a Maj Gen..think of a cross between Robt Mitchum and Don Rickels) "Sir, now how will we know if you're going to taxi?" Swart got real steely eyed, and w/o missing a beat said "Son, the airplane's gonna get bigger!" I'm telling you the crew force had tears running down our cheeks we were laughing so hard. Knowing Col Swart, I'm sure he later put his arm around the young troop and made him feel better. (D.W.)

"Apple juice"

Red had been scheduled to fly on the night before his annual Flight Physical. He and his Navigator got as far as Base Operations when they learned that their aircraft was not ready for flight and there was no spare. Prior to receiving this call, they had eaten a small meal in the Base Ops Snack Bar and Red had purchased his usual can of apple juice for use during the flight. After a few hours, the flight was canceled and the Crew Dogs headed back to their quarters. The next morning Red put on the same flight suit and headed over to the Hospital for his physical. The first activity was providing a urine sample. The old hospital had a lavatory for this purpose and in the lav was a sliding partition to allow folks to slide their urine samples onto a shelf in the laboratory. Red remembered the apple juice still a pocket of his flight suit. He retrieved the can and poured it into a urine sample bottle. He then slid the window back and sure enough, there was a female Airman (very young), just waiting to work on Red's (alleged) urine sample. Red spent a few seconds examining the bottle and announced that "It looks a little weak, think I'll put it through again". With that he drank the contents. The young Med Tech left the lab screaming for her supervisor and the Hospital Commander never did forgive Red. (E.M.)

"Smiley face"

After I was assigned to the 509th AMS as assistant shop chief of "C" Shop in 1985, I found out quickly that every time one of our FB's was to fly an OST (off station training) mission or go TDY from Pease, we were required to remove the IR detector that lived in the top of the vertical tail and put a cover on the back of the tail to cover up the hole that was left. One quiet night we were bored, and I decided that instead of painting this round fiberglass cover OD green (we were always repainting the silly things) I would liven things up a bit. We found a can of bright yellow paint and proceeded to paint this cover yellow with a "smiley face", using black paint for the features. The next time we removed the IR system, this modified cover went on. We had absolutely no idea how it would be taken, as no "higher ups" were in the loop. Several days later, we got word though the grape vine that no FB would leave Pease on an OST without the smiley face. One of them even had an eye patch and a scowl for a change. (H.S.)

"An experiment that worked"

August 1975: I was assigned to the FB-111 CCTS at Plattsburgh through Mid-April 1976 to learn the airplane and get checked out. My naviator was a lieutenant fresh out of UNT. Why this combination? The "powers that be" wanted to see if people with no previous SAC history could hack it in a high performance airplane and deliver bombs on target. Did I mention that my Nav was named Luke Lu, aka the "Bionic Bomber"? To make a long story short, we completed CCTS and were . asssigned to one of the Bomb Squadrons at P'burgh in April ''76. This was the year that SAC decreed that all Wings would hold a competition to select their crews for Bomb Comp, with the Wing King able to insert one "wild card" crew in the lineup. Crew selection was based on bomb scores at specified RBS sites. By June, all the required sorties had been accomplished and Luke came out on top of the Wing lineup. What an operator! I did my best to chauffer him around smoothly and safely so that his mind would be free to concentrate on the task at hand. We kept flying practice sorties until it was time to launch for GIANT VOICE, the official Bomb Comp missions. 1976 marks a banner year for Plattsburgh - it was the second consecutive time that the wing won Bomb Comp. (1974 was the first, with no competition in '75) Luke had the only double shack in the compeition. Not bad for a lieutanant fresh out of CCTS, huh? I guess we showed 'em! Whatever, flying the airplane was a rush even if you did have to sit alert now and then. Decoding those RBS scores and finding double digits was very satisfying. Just goes to show what you can do with the "Bionic Bomber" at your side. I always used to look at what made the airplane such a great one, and concluded that it was a combination of Technology, Training, and Talent. It was a sad, sad day when it finally left the inventory. (D.C.)

"Super@Red Flag"

In the late 80's, SAC's finest, the FB-11As, were invited to the fake war at Red Flag. Most of the time, we were part of the aggressor forces, with F-15s and F-16s attempting to "shoot" us down as we ingressed to the target area and egressed back to the safe zone. I was DO at PBG during one of these exercises and was invited to take part in the activities. One day while were out there, Range Control decided to declare an OK for supersonic exit from the target area. We could only maintain supersonic flight so far to the east, then we had to decelerate to subsonic speeds to finish our sorties. Prior to the mission, we planned the "Start Super" points and the "End Super" points on our flight plans. These points coresponded to certain Destination Numbers due to the restrictions Range Control had placed on us. No problem, right? Well, there I was, flying along in my trusty 'vark with my Nav from long ago, Luke Lu. We ingessed to the target area, dropped our weapons, made a hard turn to the East and then demonstrated the FB motto: "Speed is Life". Easing into the supersonic range, we settled down to an egress velocity of Mach 1.2, waiting for our preapproved D number to show up so we could slow down. Unfortunately, we misread the D number and went one too far. This meant that we went blowing by one of the Red Flag electronics trailers at an altitude of 200 feet and a distance of about 150 yards, still supersonic and laying down a shock wave that took out about $30,000 worth of range equipment, to say nothing of the trailer inhabitants' eardrums (temporarily). Hey, it was an honest mistake. We really weren't trying to polish our posteriors, even though it got pretty exciting after we landed. Moral: Check those D numbers REALLY well before you decide to do something a bit out of the ordinary. Second moral: If you go flying with a Colonel, remember they take extra close watching. (D.C.)

I was Major Ken Anderson's right seater when we hit that bird near Lossiemouth. We lost all pitot static systems, and Lt Col Jack Pledger (our wingman) led us into Lossiemouth. The radome was unraveling like the paper off the end of the grease pencil, but at least we "shacked" that goose!! The landing was uneventful, and Ken Anderson & I wandered around from pub to pub while waiting for a radome to arrive. Our crack maintenance guys brought up an F-111F radome, I believe from RAF Lakenheath onboard a C-23 Sherpa. During the radome swap, it was found the power cart provided did not have the right kind of hookup to get power to the jet...but as always, the maintenance guys found a way to make it work (something about hairclips or moneyclips act as good power transfer devices). The jet was fixed, we kicked the tires, and kit the fires!! 40,000 pounds of afterburning thrust never felt so good (except maybe during that same 3 week UK Air Tactical Fighter Meet when Pat O'Connor led a 3-ship at 200' TFR over the North Sea...at 1.15 Mach...right over a fishing trawler!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We never heard after that what had happened to those poor guys on the ship, other than the fact that I am sure we blew out some eardrums and woke up anyone who was sleeping! (H.T.)