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DEPARTMENT OF THE AIR FORCE 380 Organizational Maintenance Squadron Plattsburgh Air Force Base, New York 12903 6 December 1975 Subject: How to Fly the FB-111 TO: All FB-111 Pilots STEP 1. Approach the aircraft with a reckless, devil may care attitude, especially at night as this makes a big impression on bystanders. Try not to trip over the Air and Electrical lines, as this does not make a big impression on bystanders. STEP 2. Ask the crew chief what day it is and mark it down in grease pencil on the nose of the aircraft. Then ask what time it is and mark it down also. Stow your grease pencil in a convenient place for future use. (Note: We found that just inside the left engine intake duct is the most convenient place available. However, we have been losing a great many grease pencils this way.) STEP 3. Preflight: Conduct your preflight in a rapid, but deliberate manner. Be sure to kick vigorously at all tires. When you come to a complicated part of the aircraft like a wing or tail, stare at it seriously for several seconds before going on. This creates a favorable impression on your crew chief and makes him think you know what your doing. Try to avoid shaking your head and clucking your tongue during preflight as this bothers the crew chief. STEP 4. When you have finished the preflight, check the tail number of the aircraft then proceed rapidly to your assigned aircraft and repeat steps 1 through 3. STEP 5. To enter the aircraft, approach it from the left side and leap lightly on the access ladder without looking. STEP 6. Pick your self up off the ground and carefully attach the access ladder to the the aircraft and climb the steps. (Note: Try to control the tense feeling in your stomach and above all don’t look down. This is the most difficult portion of the flight and must be done with precision.) Enter the cockpit in any manner you choose, except if at all possible, you should avoid going in head first, as this does not make a big impression on bystanders. STEP 7. This is a disentangling step in which the pilot endeavors to sort out and arrange oxygen hoses, radio leads, shoulder straps, hard hats, gloves, knee pads, piddle packs, acey deucy boards, gum wrappers, old issues of Playboy and any other items he finds loose in the cockpit. STEP 8. Next check and throttle positions. If the stick is in your left hand, and the Throttles are in your right hand, you’re in the cockpit backwards. Don’t panic, smile at the crew chief, wave at the bystanders and slowly rotate your body 180 degrees. Now arrange all switches, levers and buttons in the cockpit in a pleasing and eye-catching manner and prepare to start the engines, (if they are installed). STEP 9. Upon starting the engines, advance the throttle to military power and standby for the crew chief’s signals. When he begins waving at you, resist the temptation to wave back. Rapidly rearrange the position of all switches, levers, and buttons until the right combination is found, whereupon the crew chief will finally stop waving at you. STEP 10. When the signal is given to taxi, advance the throttles to military power then walk them to afterburner, (AB), and roll smoothly over the chocks. Retard the throttle to military power and try to avoid further use of afterburners on the ramp as this irritates the crew chief’s. STEP 11. In the vicinity of the runway, hold the brakes, check your engines. Run both engines in afterburner zone 5 for 30 seconds and jot the distance of the skid marks. STEP 12. On the takeoff roll, when you leave the runway, rotate the aircraft smartly, close your eyes and count to tem. If contact with the ground has not o occurred by that time, continue the mission as briefed. (Opening your eyes is optional). Martin A. Cozzi, Lt. Colonel, USAF Commander
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